Sunday, August 4, 2013

In The Beauty There is Brokeness

There is so much beauty here in Latvia - it has a gorgeous old world feel! So many times walking the streets or traveling by train I have had to remind myself this is real - not a movie set or a "pretend" city street in Epcot. {Picture above the fam in the Baltic - we were blessed to reunite yesterday with Hope's chaperone from winter hosting, Dace. She is such a sweet lady and we loved spending time with her and her son.}

Yet, I worry, as we prepare to come home, that those back stateside who have seen all of our gorgeous pictures assume our adoption trip has been rainbows and butterflies ... it has not! While our pictures would tell one story our hearts would tell another.

There have been hard, hard days ... ones where we saw ourselves packing our bags and coming home immediately ending this journey we have been on. I have been so thankful for all those back home praying for us each and every day. For those who have Skyped, FaceTimed, sent text messages or emails supporting us from afar. Surrounded by just our immediate family and a few adoptive friends who have come and gone during our stay we have felt very alone. Homesickness set in hard over two weeks ago ... only through our faith in Jesus have we continued to move forward. Some days I know I just go through the motions until I can mark one more day off of the calendar.

I feel like for the last month we have been in this state of limbo ... just biding our time until we can return home and begin to truly live our new life with a new daughter.

And, while we have been suffering from being homesick and dealing with hard issues - our adoptive daughter has been grieving her life and friends she will leave behind. Can you imagine at 15 being uprooted from everything you have known all your life to move halfway across the world and begin anew - with a new language, a new family, and new friends? It takes a very brave child to take that step ...

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